am i alone on this? steroidhead

[number1bum]

these drugs are messing me up. i sleep 2 or 3 hours at a time and wake with the sheets soaked. then it takes me 12 hours bed time to get 8 hours sleep.so im eating less and my appetite just sucks anyway . wasnt so bad till a day ago i took a shot of test around 300mg but i guess with all the other shit in my system aggravated it and i was really fucked up. i mean bad feelings crying sometimes and extremely angry. whats crazy is its test e but i could feel it within hours very strong. so the whole depot thing to me is complete bullshit. oil test is strong for a few days and strongest day after dont give a shit what the ' experts' say, i can feel it, my nose isnt in a book like these ' gurus'. i think alot of those guys are full of it. but yea the bad feelings .....want to smash the fucking mirror man! really i abused these drugs for years before but they never effected me like this. its hard to explain-- i want to put someone thru the wall but at the same time i hate myself and crying and angry at the same time. ALSO ITS CRAZY LIKE NITE AND DAY MY INTERESTS WENT FROM FEMALE TO MALE . always have bi thoughts but not totally gay like this. and then yea my sex drive was very high but since a few days ago very down. probably because all that im typing here has finally hit me in the last few days-- so of course i wont be interested in sex with all this garbage negativity in my head. been on about 11 weeks but sometimes get lazy dont take my shots on time. heres whats really bugging me though. about 4 weeks ago i started hcg noticed balls/ dick felt better / fatter within days of the hcg((((( couldve been pgf2a cause i was using that in there for awhile off and on, btw dr says prostagladins affect genitals so , maybe it does this - will have to use the pgf2a on its own to see this i guess -and also antihistamines-- if you ever have dick surgery- they will tell you to avoid them- they shrink you- so you just learned something huh? and this does make sense because ,,, viagra works by helping your body retain its own endogenous prostagladins , diff from pgf2a though, anyway, if you use viagra during the allergy season and you have allergies and go out in them- youll get whammied because viagra is anti- antihistamine, ( a double negative!)course antihistamines and viagra will counteract eachother but youll probably still get wood, just mite need more v,))))))) anyway in the 10 days since i jumped back 'on my nuts especially shrunk up . supprising to me even how fast it happened , actually. cant understand how male hormones can shrink you up but fuck man they do. and i been using since young. i just cant understand why they dont have the opposite effect. hard its the same but flaccid it looks alot bigger when im off . and this is definate cause im always measuring the shit. but then again alot of food/full stomach all the time somehow effects my flaccid lenghth, and of course i try to eat alot when im juicing-- wouldnt care if i had a 4 inch hardon or some shit like that but i dont want to fuckup the one thing good on me. but yea cant understand why im so restless now and i wasnt years ago when i BOATLOADED this stuff. maybe because i was completely off for 2 years and now its like im a beginner but i didnt have these feelings when i started and i was using whole lot more then i am now. im not putting this down - i loved bodybuilding , but its not worth this mental abuse. mental abuse guys. but maybe you have to have done alot of gear to really start to see this. and if you dont see maybe your just an idiot. .... i mean ill always come back to them eventually but not because i want to. its just amental addiction now really. definately not trying to disscourage anyone but my mind is in turmoil here-- its hard to let go of your dreams and come to grips with reality-- that ive been wrong all these years. ill stick to my guns and keep using, a little here and there , but i wont like it. sorry if i brought anyone down here just typing what comes too. anybody with similar expieriences would be great to read them. or what you think is going on with me. hopefully this post wont get deleted because newbies should know that you mite have BIG regrets for this. and ive talked to some oldtimers about this too. one has been off for years and he says hes still not right in the head. but maybe this is only something that happens to you when you start young. i was VERY young when i started. i dont know. but i cant believe its over before i got started. i couldve been somebody , i couldve been a contender

[liftsiron]

I'm inclined to believe that you are joking, but if you are serious, I would sugget that you seek help from a mental health professional. That's no joke buddy.

[Easto]

If you don't like the way you feel when on AAS, then don't use them. Nothing is worth feeling like shit over!!

[urafreak]

sorry your feeling this way brother. you on some recs when you wrote this?

get clean and get some help bro.

[number1bum]

this is no joke . this it what they call a stereotype i guess. this is what you think of when you think steroid abuse but why now and not before when the dose was MUCH higher?also i think all guys that abuse this shit need that type of help sure but thats expensive. anyway really what i was wondering is has anybody else felt this way before? definately i have issues its just crazy how they got magnified like that in just weeks. i dont understand why the same drugs in an even bigger dose didnt do this to me when i was in my teens..... any guesses? but yea even when i was off them 2 years there was still alot more aggression/sexual perversion/irrational behavior then normal. but ive never heard of anybody who used hard very young having permanent effects like this , or even if it has nothing to do with age and its just accumulitive damage. how old were you guys when you started? for a young guy, ive used a TON of test. at least 300 ccs of 200mg in a 3 year period and whatever else i could find. mainly hardshit because things like eq and winstrol just wernt out there in the late 90s like they are now. now you have all these weird companies catering to bodybuilders, back then it was test, vet shit from mex, and fake d-bols you hoped had something in em. and dont you notice a drastic decrease in size when your 'on, especially when you get cold? this just isnt the type of thing you talk about in the gym , unless you want people to know you are shot. rec drugs nothing hard just alot of pot

[house1]

ALSO ITS CRAZY LIKE NITE AND DAY MY INTERESTS WENT FROM FEMALE TO MALE . always have bi thoughts but not totally gay like this.

bro, this could be an underlying problem in itself--beating yourself up about it--
that and the holidays can bring out some deep feelings

i feel you need to come off the drugs and seek some help from a therapist--

imo you are holding some deep,deep feelings down inside you and you dont know how to release them--the drugs just magnify it that much more--

do yourself a favor--come off and get some help-- real help bro--we can give you advice but you can wipe your ass with that!!! no offense to anyone

you need to see a professional!!!
no offense intended but get some help

sincerely
house1

[txbandit]

Yeah, bro. You don't even have to go to a therapist right off. Go to a regular doc and tell him whats going on. Maybe you can get some meds that will calm your intense emotional feelings.

[liftsiron]

I really don't think that steroids had much if anything to do with your underlying problems. I don't know what you mean when you say alot of pot, but I've seen some really good people get their heads and lives all fucked up by chronic use of pot. I suggest that you see someone in social services, if you need help with your problems. That's what their for, and it won't cost you.

[rado]

I think everyone here said it well.

[rock]

?

[0000ohio]

Please, get some help

Hey man, read this, please.

You need some help bro, believe me. In my opinion, this probably has nothing to do with gear, and everything to do with problems you have been dealing with for a long time. Trust me, I know. I have been on psycotropic drugs for over five years and I see a therapist regularly.

They can help, bro. Don't suffer. Don't endure this any longer. Speak to either your family doctor or contact your insurance plan who always have special numbers for help in this area. Don't be shy; tell them how serious this is.

Don't buy the b.s. about the meds. either; they really do work, your johnson will still work, and your mood will stabilize.

If you can train as hard as I'm sure you do, you have the ability to get through this.

Please, again, contact someone. I'm sure there are plenty of people that care deeply about you that can help.

Keep us all updated. Let me know if you have any questions or need someone to talk to.

[DragonRider]

I didn't start till I was in my forties, but I can tell you that my experience is exactly the opposite of yours.

Once I started, my mood stabalized and improved drastically. With the exception of when I'm using fina, I sleep like a baby. I'm infinately happier and better controlled when I'm on.

[number1bum]

well for you then its like hrt.