In need of a little support please.

[OKMEDIC]

Can someone please tell me how to deal with a huge loss? I"m normally pretty strong mentally but this one has thrown me for a loop.

I had been with my fiance for about a year and a half and about 2 months ago she completely became a different person. I'm fairly sure she cheated on me which would not surprise me considering the past her and her exhusband had for 13 years. They were swingers and I should have known better. I'm not that kind of person and I should have known that if a person lives that lifestyle for that long, they aren't going to change.
My thing is I got so close to her two girls, 7 and 3. I moved them in after about a year and they both were begging to call me daddy.. I break down everytime I think abou it. I know I made the right choice by breaking up with her but it still hurts like a bitch. I also know that time will heal but never all the way. I'll always miss and love them.
It seems like with every friend I talk to about it, I feel a little better. She did so many hurtfull things I can't believe I stuck around for as long as I did. I think that's one of the things that bothers me the most. I'm just glad I found out who she is now rather than after I married her. It's amazing the amount of love you can give someone and then it's just gone.

I guess I just needed to get my feelings out again. If anyone has any other advice other than getting back in the gym, please let me know. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not think about it.

Thanks bros and sisters. I've missed everyone. But I'm back!!

[Trapology]

Gonna have to cut your losses

With those little girls comes this scrum bag woman. its impossible to be there for other people when you yourself are in a bad situation

[Dawgpound_Hank]

I guess I just needed to get my feelings out again. If anyone has any other advice other than getting back in the gym, please let me know. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not think about it.

In bold ^^^ ...best things you can do and good to see you already know it brutha! Been there, done that...felt suicidal many years back in a same situation, yet today I can think back about it and laugh...time DOES heal all! But for now,avoid idle time. And last but not least, welcome back dude!

[theartofwar]

dedicating yourself back to iron will not only help with structuring your life without her - it will give you those endorphin boosts that can help you through the day. Also, don't just throw yourselves to the wolves with the fucking - just because you can keep your standards solid. I've had some sloppy rebounds just because i wanted to get my dick wet ... frankly woke up and found myself feeling worse that I could've possibly let a chick not only screw me over, but I end up with this butter face snoring next to me cuz of her. She won twice !!! Fuck that. Keep your head up bro!!!!

[OKMEDIC]

Thanks guys. It's so hard when you've put everything into it and you get completely shit on. And yes, standards are set and will not be compromised whatsoever. I'm working on my house and concentrating on chem class. If all goes well, I'll be starting nursing school next fall. I'm just goin to need time to let all this sink in and heal. I compromised practically every aspect of my life for them for nothing. Just time to rebuild the old me. Thanks again fellas. This is the one place I can always come to get the real words I need to hear from likeminded people. Between work, school, and the gym, I should be good to go. I truly appreciate you all.

[b52]

When you're involved with someone on that level, there is no way to escape getting hurt. It will be on your mind for a while most certainly, but the best thing for you to do, is not dwell on it because you will only be hurting yourself. You can go out and live your life, and have fun, stay busy. The thought of losing them will be there, but if you don't stay busy you'll only run yourself into the ground. And also, it seems she didn't appreciate you for who you are and what you did for her and her kids. You don't want to be with someone like that. If she cheated on you then, screw her. That shows you she doesn't give a shit, and you don't have to deal with that. What I always found to work is try to channel that emotion into something positive that will benefit you. When I was in a similar situation about 4 years ago i used all my frustration in the gym and in my muay thai training. Man did I get some of the best workouts of my life. I trained muay thai like i was getting ready to fight 30 people. When you are that hurt and that emotional you just keep going and going no matter how tired you get. But you know what. I felt so damn good after. I wasn't angry, or sad. Eventually all the bad feelings i had were gone. Just try to channel all that built up emotion into something positive, and you will feel better.

[Scotsmark]

Welcome back to the board mate.

I can relate somewhat after being screwed over 10 years ago by a then gf and a supposed friend. To their credit they ended up married and divorced a year later. She recently got in touch with me and told me that she had been cheated on by her bf with a friend of hers. I felt smug as hell when she told me and thought karma's a bitch.
I got married last year to a woman I've known since we were young (I was a friend of her brothers when I was 19, I'm 37 now). We have an amazing relationship and she will do anything for me and supports everything I do (unless it's stupid, lol).

At the time, I never knew where my life was going, what was happening and turned to drink. I got in loads of fights on nights out and still do not know how I never got arrested.
Right now, I am happy. You will be too, eventually, just hang in there.

[OKMEDIC]

It's a tough road to go down but I think we've all been there in some way or another. All of my friends have come back to me and some really great things have happened over the past day or two. My sister is my great support and rock that I have. She showed me all the great things that can happen when we get all the negativity out of our lives. I just was too blind at the time to see just how negative it was, and how much worse it could have gotten in so many ways. Looking back on it now, it was a life I honestly was not looking forward to. I knew her girls and her both had been in a bad place and I was doing everything I could to make their lives better and give them something to look forward to and be happy about. Then once I told my sister of her 13 year past, and some of it happened 6 months before we got together, I realized that she was still that way and I had to do the right thing for me, as much as it hurt. The pain will subside with time and I know in my heart that I did do the right thing and a happier, more respectable life is ahead. Thanks fellas!! As my friends here where I live have some back, so have all of you.. I love the brotherhood that we all have, whether we all "know' each other or not. I truly appreciate your words and support.