I fear for my ass!

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  • Patrick Bateman

    I fear for my ass!

    I’ve never told anyone this story, and never thought I would—not because I was afraid of being disbelieved, exactly, but because I was ashamed . . . I’ve always felt that telling it would cheapen both me and the story itself, make it smaller and more mundane, no more than a camp counselor’s ghost story told before lights-out. I think I was also afraid that if I told it, heard it with my own ears, I might start to disbelieve it myself.

    First off let me start by saying the character in this story is simple minded. He was not born with much in the way of brains. I believe it could be due to Quez’s mother. She suffered from Parkinson’s disease, dropping poor Quez on his huge, bulbous head multiple times. Doctors were of little help because Quez was abnormally…ugly, frightening the doctors away at a single glance.

    I’m not sure when Quez discovered his true sexuality, but I believe it was in 1st grade, when he took an unhealthy liking to one of his teachers. The fact that the opposite sex were literally appalled by Quez’s extraordinarily repugnant looks likely did not help.

    When I found out he had an infatuation with me I was terrified, I tried to explain to Quez as nicely as possible that I was not homosexual, but because of his extreme hebetudinous he could not understand.

    He found me on a fitness board we both frequented at the time. Due to his disproportionate body he gave of the appearance of being muscular, although it was only because of his strange affliction.

    It began with light hearted quips and harmless flirtation; then he began PMing me, calling me his “girly man”. For fear of my own wellbeing and for fear of being sodomized I contacted the moderators. This enraged Quez. He began E-mailing me and calling me at home, telling my lovely girlfriend that he and I were meant for each other.

    To this day I receive the occasional phone call from Quez. Still racked with rage he fills his days by preparing ways to torture me…sexually. I just pray to god he never finds me, my large intestine could not handle the lashing.
  • CO-B16
    Vet
    • May 2004
    • 1905

    #2
    wtf..... some of the shit you come up with just blows me away.....
    THIS POST IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

    YO MOMMA

    Comment

    • Blown_SC

      #3
      So what you're saying is........... is that Quez = rado?

      I get it now........

      Comment

      • Deacon
        Vet
        • Jan 2005
        • 3686

        #4
        so Quez is really a booty bandit? and ugly Mofo to boot? Oh wow I cant wait to see his answer! LOL
        Originally Posted by Doink the clown;
        "Every gym has the tard who never gets bigger,never shuts up,and never goes away!"


        "If you say you are not afraid to die either your lying or your a Ghurka,"

        "Amatures built the Ark - professionals built the Titanic."

        Comment

        • BigSickD
          Vet
          • May 2004
          • 2720

          #5
          This was so stupid, I just had to bump it..LOL
          BigSickD does not actually exist. He is the alter ego of a punkass 17yo kid that doesn't even workout.

          Comment

          • Mudge
            Registered User
            • Sep 2003
            • 778

            #6
            We need some Victorian Guy.

            Comment

            • Deacon
              Vet
              • Jan 2005
              • 3686

              #7
              bump bump! LOL
              Originally Posted by Doink the clown;
              "Every gym has the tard who never gets bigger,never shuts up,and never goes away!"


              "If you say you are not afraid to die either your lying or your a Ghurka,"

              "Amatures built the Ark - professionals built the Titanic."

              Comment

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