Unleash me...

[mrhtbd]

The rope no longer burns my hands, my back muscles are intertwined by 20,000 reps of use and abuse, my mind never got used to the corner and the X-Games of my body have reached their contact point. Lats will flair, calves integrate, forearms tighten like the sails in a stiff wind. The man of inumerable patience developed over years of substrate, has collected and wants release. Tren cycle? Testosteronus maximus? Deadlifts until you puke? Squats deep and supersetted with straight leg deads until the cry of the night dry heaves into the dawn? That is where I am right now. Chew what's left of this body and spit it out; blast or destroy, that is the question?? Seriously, we cannot rely on intellectual fodder to stimulate our rebirth. As they are skewed and flawed. Throw over but don't give in to idiots or know-it-alls or psych-dicks! F-you psych-dicks, you can't walk in my shoes, you know not my experience nor mind; you are a fuck-wad psych-dick! At this point it is only necessary to unleash the beast. "No," cardiologist, "I did Not have a heart attack, you do not acknowledge spat about my being?" "No," "Doctor of record who has not seen me in 7 years, I will not take your stupid High blood pressure meds so you can get a check from the 'industry,' my high blood pressure is not a health concern, but as a result of being cornered for so long, I'm just fed up and pissed off!" Maybe that tren cycle is in order, as I have night sweats and can't sleep anyway. So many choices. Ok, I'll get the HBP drugs, so you will approve the hernia surgery, but they will go where they belong, the toilet! After the surgery, its fuck-all cycle to get my life back. In the mean time, I religated the fuck-all Med group to the corner where they belong! This star will rise and shine or explode in consternational glory. The Master has spoken! PS: my lats were so pumped today I could squeeze a quarter with my pecs. It felt goooood!!

[Darkness]

Who are you talking about

[mrhtbd]

Only you, Darkness, I only want to be you, as that is the power's be! Is anything else worth living's for?

[Dawgpound_Hank]

Boring <yawn>

You need new material homie. Most of your posts consist of 90% content that is long, drawn out and negative/whining/complaining, followed by a last positive 10% which consists of your turning the tide yaaaayyy, a new you wiiiiiii, finding the grail oh wooow, etc. C'mon now - same trend for years - shit's old. </yawn>

Change that shit up some - start with some positive stuff for once, and end it with how you can't deal with it no more and gonna take an uzi to work, mow down Pablo, then jump off a scaffold into a bed of spikes or something entertaining.

[mrhtbd]

I have no interest in guns, mowing people down or any degree of self-harm. I just want to remove limitations to live a healthy and fit lifestyle again. The swelling in my ankle wasn't there last September although I had other issues from sewer gas exposure like high hemocrit, coughing fits, skin cancer and stomach problems. Serious issues, not figments of my imagination. I did what I thought was the sensible thing, went to Doctors. One prescribed amlodipine and my leg swelled twice the size, stopped taking it in May an only now see my leg "again" almost normal. I don't want to return to the gym until I get the hernia fixed, and need approval for surgery from my family practice, but the doctor now says he won't approve the surgery unless I take amlodipine which has a list of side effects 2 pages long, the primary one being "swelling of feet and ankles!" This rant was about reason and faith; to trust what I've learned, the faith to put it into practice, and unleashing myself from the clutches of things/people that deny me, hold me back, coerce me and just plain old obstruct! I'll get the meds but won't take them, get the surgery, continue refining my diet, return to the gym and add more cardiovascular exercise. I'll die anyway, but hopefully not for a long time and with a legacy. Clear enough!

[Dakota]

I have no interest in guns, mowing people down or any degree of self-harm. I just want to remove limitations to live a healthy and fit lifestyle again. The swelling in my ankle wasn't there last September although I had other issues from sewer gas exposure like high hemocrit, coughing fits, skin cancer and stomach problems. Serious issues, not figments of my imagination. I did what I thought was the sensible thing, went to Doctors. One prescribed amlodipine and my leg swelled twice the size, stopped taking it in May an only now see my leg "again" almost normal. I don't want to return to the gym until I get the hernia fixed, and need approval for surgery from my family practice, but the doctor now says he won't approve the surgery unless I take amlodipine which has a list of side effects 2 pages long, the primary one being "swelling of feet and ankles!" This rant was about reason and faith; to trust what I've learned, the faith to put it into practice, and unleashing myself from the clutches of things/people that deny me, hold me back, coerce me and just plain old obstruct! I'll get the meds but won't take them, get the surgery, continue refining my diet, return to the gym and add more cardiovascular exercise. I'll die anyway, but hopefully not for a long time and with a legacy. Clear enough!

You are overdue to start coming up with reasons why things can work and stop with all the bullshit why they can't. There are many routes to your stated goals. Different doctors, different avenues. I am sure I could compare sob stories with the shit that has happened to me in the past 8 years. I went from being a 1%er with airplanes and multiple homes to living in a one bedroom apartment and nearly losing my company. I lost my son for several months due to bogus allegations of abuse and drug use as part of a divorce that has cost me several hundred thousand dollars just in attorney fees alone.

The Shawshank Redemption has a good line in it. "Get busy living or get busy dying"

[mrhtbd]

I just want the hernia surgery done. I can't do it myself. The cardiologist who evaluated my 2 minute EKG wrote that I had suffered a heart attack which I have no recollection of. Now I have to get an echocardiogram, scheduled for two weeks. I have good insurance but lose my coverage if I go to another network.

[A1food4u]

keep fighting the good fight dude, and having them find it is a blessing, now you can get good care and be around for those daughter's

[Darkness]

None of this is anything a good tragedy involving pussy won't fix by taking your mind off it.

[Glycomann]

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[liftsiron]

Invictus



Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

[mrhtbd]

That's more like it! I feel inspired by your words, the sun engulfed by the horizon as twilight moves to cover the Swimming Championships. My daughter has one event left and asked for advice. "Leave it in the pool," I said, "take none with you, just put it out and leave it." "The last thing you want for your month vacation is regret you had more to give!" I'm ready to raise up to my own advice.

[mrhtbd]

She did it, left it in the pool, swam the 50 meter butterfly and helped her team take first place in the 12 and under girls 200 meter Medley Relay! Good stuff. Now it's my turn.