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We have these 2 palm trees out in the front of our house, and I've pruned them myself each year since I've lived here, but now they are getting too high for me to reach them with ladders and shit. Anyway, we have guys drop off their business cards on our door at our house all the time trying to solicit business...cool, I can understand. Anyway, i'm sitting on my recliner posting on these here forums, and the wife comes in from work for lunch, when we notice some guy putting a card on our door. She's next to the door so I tell her to open it and ask the guy how much he'd charge for our trees. She opens the door and calls the guy over and asks him a few questions. He is Mexican (as she is), but she asks him in English so that I can hear their conversation from my chair. He can't see where i'm sitting from where he is standing in the door. Anyway here's how the conversation goes:
Wife: Excuse me, you cut down palm trees?
The fuktard: Yes, we can cut them for you, are you interested?
Wife: How much can you quote me to trim my two trees here in the front of the house?
Fuktard: Uhhh, we can cut them for about $200.
Wife: So you can cut both for $200?
Fuktard: Yes, so a $100 a piece.
At this point, I get up to go and ask him if he could come this weekend, or when he may be able to come cut them. I walk to the door and he looks at me and proceeds with the following:
Fuktard: Oh, hi (in Spanish and then looks at me for about 10 seconds while stuttering the hello). Continuing in Spanish thinking i'm some dumb whiteboy, he says, "Well, you know, I think we may have to charge around $400 now that I think about it."
Me in Spanish: $400? Why did you increase it from the original $200 you just quoted my wife? And you speak English, please speak in English to me too.
Dumbfuk: Well, I probably just was figuring $200 per tree, so that is $400 for both (while giving a smirk and laughing).
Me: No, you quoted her $100 per tree, I heard you while I was sitting right here in my chair? Did you just raise the price once you seen me, thinking i'm a white guy with money or something?
Dumbfukk: No (while having a stupid smirk on his face).
Me: Well what the heck did you raise it for? Were you trying to hit on my wife until you seen she had somebody? Or, were you going to rip her off after cutting the trees and change your quote to take advantage of her, or me?
Dumbfukk: No (while giving me a dirty look and puffs his chest up until I walk closer and he realizes he looks like a damn child next to me).
Me: Well guess what's going to happen now? You aren't going to get neither $200 or $400 dollars for being a lying fuktard, so you might as well just leave.
Dumbfukk: just stands there giving me a dirty look.
Me: So at this point, I brush my wife back with my arm so she is not in the way and tell the guy...."Hey bud, did you hear what I said? You ruined your business with us, and you've made it personal. If you keep standing there I'm going to slap that fukking look right off your face, it's your decision."
Dumbfuk: He walks away.
I follow him out since i'm on my own property and want to make sure he doesn't do something stupid like kick my wife's truck or anything like that. He starts walking faster and as he knew I was about 10-15 feet behind him. He walks to his truck a few houses down, gets in his car and flips me off when he drives away. LOL.
My neighbor was outside, and he mentioned that he had an appointment with the guy to trim up one of his trees. He starts laughing and asks what happened. About this time, another neighbor across the street joins and mentions he had an appointment too. Both call the guy and cancel their business with him while we are talking. He drives back by and flips us all off
Stupid fukker.
I hurry to go inside before the wife leaves back to work.
Wife: I thought you were going to beat that guy down!
Me: Yea, I wanted to.
Wife: Yer getting soft, 10 years ago you wouldn't have even got through 2 sentences before punching him.
Me: Yea...i'm gonna go sit in my recliner...DICK!
Wife: laughs out loud and leaves to work.
I'll have to make sure my cameras around the house are on, he may be the chicken-shit type to do something. Anyway...
...ugh, at least i'm not going to jail or trying to figure out where to bury a dead body...
Sorry Rough, I probably let ya down
I guess I am getting soft....
Wife: Excuse me, you cut down palm trees?
The fuktard: Yes, we can cut them for you, are you interested?
Wife: How much can you quote me to trim my two trees here in the front of the house?
Fuktard: Uhhh, we can cut them for about $200.
Wife: So you can cut both for $200?
Fuktard: Yes, so a $100 a piece.
At this point, I get up to go and ask him if he could come this weekend, or when he may be able to come cut them. I walk to the door and he looks at me and proceeds with the following:
Fuktard: Oh, hi (in Spanish and then looks at me for about 10 seconds while stuttering the hello). Continuing in Spanish thinking i'm some dumb whiteboy, he says, "Well, you know, I think we may have to charge around $400 now that I think about it."
Me in Spanish: $400? Why did you increase it from the original $200 you just quoted my wife? And you speak English, please speak in English to me too.
Dumbfuk: Well, I probably just was figuring $200 per tree, so that is $400 for both (while giving a smirk and laughing).
Me: No, you quoted her $100 per tree, I heard you while I was sitting right here in my chair? Did you just raise the price once you seen me, thinking i'm a white guy with money or something?
Dumbfukk: No (while having a stupid smirk on his face).
Me: Well what the heck did you raise it for? Were you trying to hit on my wife until you seen she had somebody? Or, were you going to rip her off after cutting the trees and change your quote to take advantage of her, or me?
Dumbfukk: No (while giving me a dirty look and puffs his chest up until I walk closer and he realizes he looks like a damn child next to me).
Me: Well guess what's going to happen now? You aren't going to get neither $200 or $400 dollars for being a lying fuktard, so you might as well just leave.
Dumbfukk: just stands there giving me a dirty look.
Me: So at this point, I brush my wife back with my arm so she is not in the way and tell the guy...."Hey bud, did you hear what I said? You ruined your business with us, and you've made it personal. If you keep standing there I'm going to slap that fukking look right off your face, it's your decision."
Dumbfuk: He walks away.
I follow him out since i'm on my own property and want to make sure he doesn't do something stupid like kick my wife's truck or anything like that. He starts walking faster and as he knew I was about 10-15 feet behind him. He walks to his truck a few houses down, gets in his car and flips me off when he drives away. LOL.
My neighbor was outside, and he mentioned that he had an appointment with the guy to trim up one of his trees. He starts laughing and asks what happened. About this time, another neighbor across the street joins and mentions he had an appointment too. Both call the guy and cancel their business with him while we are talking. He drives back by and flips us all off
Stupid fukker.
I hurry to go inside before the wife leaves back to work.
Wife: I thought you were going to beat that guy down!
Me: Yea, I wanted to.
Wife: Yer getting soft, 10 years ago you wouldn't have even got through 2 sentences before punching him.
Me: Yea...i'm gonna go sit in my recliner...DICK!
Wife: laughs out loud and leaves to work.
I'll have to make sure my cameras around the house are on, he may be the chicken-shit type to do something. Anyway...
...ugh, at least i'm not going to jail or trying to figure out where to bury a dead body...
Sorry Rough, I probably let ya down
I guess I am getting soft....
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