*** Vanilla Gorrilla's Recipes ***

[Easto]

***BREAKFAST***

This is loaded with protein and carbs and good taste. Its definetly different from the norm and will be some unusualy prepparing but once you get the hang of it you'll love it. Its awesome.

First of all place your oven rack in the second slot from the top of the broiler in your oven. Place a 10-12 inch cast iron skillet in there and turn the broiler on to high.

In a mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs and add in half a bag, or 3/4s, or the whole damn thing of a 1 pound 12 oz package of Ore-Ida frozen hashbrowns. Please be sure to unthaw the potatoes in the fridge the night before. Whip the potatoes and eggs together with plenty of kosher salt. *Optional* you can also add 8 oz of frozen spinach to this, but I usually leave it out.

Now your skillet should be hot. Remove it from the oven and put just a little bit of olive oil in the bottom, just to keep the potatoes from sticking. Be sure to pack the mixture down really well into all the cracks and corners of the skillet. Pour some salsa all over the top of it. Replace back in the oven for 10-12 minutes. Don't let the tomatoes burn, but just cook in the salsa. Go jump in the shower or something for those 12 minutes.

Now when done pull the skillet back out and cover it with fat free or 2% shredded mozarella cheese. Fat free or low fat cheddar would do fine. Use a lot to cover the surface. Kind of like a pizza. Now once the cheese is down crack 4-5 whole eggs on top in separate places. Now put back under the broiler for 4 min. or however long it takes for the whites and set. Please keep an eye on it. The eggs will burn. At the end sprinkle with red pepper flakes and go to town. This will be the best damn breakfast you ever sank your teeth into. Most of the time I just eat it right out of the damn skillet and wash it down with a glass or two of milk.

[Easto]

***MEATLOAF***

Who doesn't like meatloaf? Not many. I love it. I can eat gobbs of it. Here is a really basic recipe:

1lb of ground beef
sat and pepper
1/2 cup of chopped onion
1/2 cup of chopped bell pepper
1 egg lightly beaten
8 oz can of diced tomatoes w/ juice
1/2 cup quick cooking oats

For the topping:
1/3 cup ketchup
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp mustard

Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Mix all of the meat ingredients and place in a loaf pan. Mix the topping mixture and pour on the top. Bake for 1 hr. How simple is that?

[Easto]

***PASTA***

KRL came up with the idea to make pasta out of protein powder. This recipe is not set in stone yet. Its going to take some tweaking. I am going to layout the basis of the recipe and I would like for you guys to try this out and let me know what your results are.

First off this is how one would make fresh pasta:

3 cups of all purpose flour
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon of olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt

That right there will make a good bit of pasta. Now we are going to need to substitute the flour with the protein powder. Thing is do we do a half and half ratio, or a 2 to 1 ratio of flour and protein, or would this work with just protein powder all the way? That is what we are going to have to experiment with and find out. So if you have a lot of protein powder laying around get busy.

When you do attempt to make it this is what will knead to be done. Knead, haha get it.......ok, anyways. First get yourself a clean large worksurface. Make a well with the protein/flour ratio. In a measuring cup mix the eggs, water, oil, and salt together. Pour the wet mixture slowly into the well and mix with your fingers until all of the wet is incorporated. Knead the dough for 8 to 10 minutes on the work surface. Roll out until it is very thin. Then cut into long thin strips. A pizza cutter will do the job. You now have fresh pasta. Boil for a few minutes and pour your favorite sauce on it and go to town.

Damn, Dante if we could get this mixture right we need to learn how to dry it and market it. Instead of pasta giving you 40grams of carbs per 2oz you'd be getting 40 grams of protein. Step aside Atkins Approved here come Trueprotein Pasta bitch!

[Easto]

***GROUND BEEF, EGG, and CHEESE SCRAMBLE***

This is very basic, but good. This is pretty much my breakfast every morning.

First off I heat a non stick skillet over medium high heat. When its hot I add in some 93/7 ground beef. While thats cooking I whisk 3 eggs in a bowl with a tablespoon of milk to make the eggs fluffier. Then I throw in a handful (about 1/2 cup or more) of fat free cheese in with the eggs. When the beef is done I pour the egg/cheese mixture in with the beef and stir until everything is mixed well. I usually pull this from the heat just before the eggs are completly cooked. Remember if the eggs are done in the pan they will be over done in the plate due to carry over cooking. Sometimes I top them with salsa, sometimes ketchup. Sometimes non fat sour cream does the trick. This is also good with ketchup, mustard, and pickles.

[Easto]

***FLANK STEAK (2 Ways)***

Method 1): This is the easy method. It doesn't require much. You will need a cast iron skillet and a regular non stick skillet. I do prefer this guy over the cast iron skillet when cooking this way:

https://secure.lodgemfg.com/storefr...?idProduct=2772

But if you don't want one of those then the regular cast iron will do fine.

First lets prep our meat. Salt and pepper it and rub it down with some olive oil.

While that is sitting heat your pan over medium high heat.

When hot put your steak down and cook it without touching it for 2- 3 minutes per side. Then flip it and cook the other side. When done let it rest for 3 min. That way we keep the juices in the meat.

While your steak was cooking use the other non stick skillet to saute' a bell pepper cut into thin stips, seeds removed, and one onion sliced thin. I normally cook this in just a small amount of canola or olive oil with salt and pepper. Just let these sweet down on a medium heat. If the veggies aren't cooking fast enough for you put a lid on to let them steam.

Now its time to plate up. Lay all the veggies down on the plate. Then slice your steak against the grain at an angle. Slice it thin as possible. This will make it tender. Fan your sliced steak around the plate on top of the veggies. I like to douse mine in A-1 but thats just me. This is also good wrapped in tortillas with salsa. You can eat it with any type of rice you wish also.

Method 2). I dont want this one to scare you, but it does involve some work. I will walk you through it the best way I can. In the end its well worth it. Guys this is one of those type dishes that will get you some for sure. Especially if she knows you did this just for her.

First we are going to make the filling. It helps to have a food proccessor but those are pricey. If you dont have one your going to have to do some chopping and mixing in a bowl. Heres the ingredient list:

2-3 handfuls of flavored croutons, most people can hold 1/2 cup-cup in there hand
Palmful of grated parmesan cheese
2 eggs
tablespoon each of parsley and oregano
teaspoon each of rosemary and thyme
1-2 cloves of garlic

If you have a food processor this is so easy. Just throw everything in and pulse until everything is ground up. If you dont then were going to have some extra work here to do. First you will need to crush all the croutons up. Use your fist or a potato masher and place in a bowl. Run your knife through your cheese just to chop it up a bit more, throw that in the bowl. Whisk together your two eggs and place that in the bowl as well. Chopp up your herbs and garlic and place that in. Mix everything together until well incorporated. That is your stuffing.

Now take a 1.5 lb flank steak and beat it out until its very thin. Please try not to break it. I place some saran wrap down on top then pound it with a meat mallet. It should have flattened out tremendously when your done. Now take your filling and spread it in the middle of the beef. Spread it out evenly all over except for a 1/2 inch to the ends. So you should still see about a 1/2 inch of beef all the way around. Roll this up like a jelly roll. Tie it in 6-8 places all the way down to hold it together. Do not tie it to tight though. IF you do the tied part will not be able to expand and you will have a roast that resembles Barbie. So just tie it, not to tight.

Now set your oven to 350 degrees. Take out a baking dish and pour your favorite tomato sauce in the bottom. You want the whole entire bottom covered. Place that in the oven to heat up.

Now place a cast iron skillet over medium high heat. Salt and pepper your steak roll and brush it with some olive oil. Sear on all four sides until browned. About 1 min. per side all the way around.

Place the roast in the tomato sauce pan. Now take a spoon and pour some of the sauce on top of the roast. Just to get it good and covered. Wrap up with aluminum foil and cook for 1 hr.

When done remove the butcher string. Slice it into thin slices. Pour some of the tomato sauce down on the plate and place the gorgeous roast slices down on the tomato sauce. Chow down.

For your girl, feed her in the dimmist lit room in the house. I dont care if its the laundry room. Your going to need that light to set the mood. Set up some candles in the center of the table. Of course place down your napkins and forks and knives. If you dont have fancy tablecloth's just cut out some squares of those XXl white dress shirts you grew out of a year ago. Place them down. She'll never know. Pour her some wine, red please. Serve up some bought french bread at the store, cut it on a bias please. Then pour the tomato sauce in the plate, lay down two slices of the beef for her, 4 for you, lol. Top it off with some parsley sprigs. Dont worry about butter. You can dip your french bread in the sauce. Now if that doesn't get you laid I have other cooking instructions that can, but those will cost you. So for right now just consider that a freeby. We had better stick to the recipes that make you grow for now though.

[Easto]

***HAMBURGERS***

When I make hamburgers I always form them into 5oz patties. They always seem to cook best that way. Rather grilling or pan fried. I grill my burgers usually 3-4 min. per side. I cook them in a hot cast iron skillet over medium heat for about 5 min. per side. Remember no patty smashing at any point.

I usually season my patties with kosher salt and ground black pepper. By the way, I know you guys see in my recipes I keep stressing kosher salt. That one little ingredient right there makes all the difference in the world. Trust me you will never buy table salt again. Anyways, that little bit of seasoning and proper cooking will make your burger to die for. When I pan fry them I just place them in the hot dry pan. After the meat sits there it starts to sear and becomes non stick. They will stick at first but dont touch it. Once that crust forms it will be stick free. There should be a beautiful brown crust on the outside of the burger. Thats how you know your cooking it right. The kosher salt give it that crust. Remember also when done cooking remove the patty from the heat and let it sit for 3 min. That way the juice stay in the meat.

Now from time to time I do get tired of salt and pepper only burgers. So I buy some horseradish root, and fresh chives. I remove the outer layer of the horseradish then grate it down. Then I chop up the fresh chives. I mix however much I want into the patties w/ salt and pepper. Then I grill them for 3-4 min. per side. The horseradish and chives give the burger a very good flavor. I sometimes like to carve off a big piece cheddar, place it on the patty, then put that between two buns. Then wrap the patty up in aluminum foil. Place it back on the grill and place a brick on top for like a 1 minute or so. The whole burger gets tightly compressed and the cheese oozes out everywhere. Its pure heaven.

[Easto]

***PORK TENDERLOIN***

This is a very neglected form of protein. Why I dont know. Its very lean, packed with protien and affordable. So why aren't more bodybuilders eating it? Does it taste like shit or what? If you think its just plain out to damn nasty then try it this way.

In a pot bring 2 cups of vegetable stock, 1/2 cup of kosher salt, 1/4 cup of brown sugar, few peppercorns, and a bay leave to a boil. Stir until the sugar and salt has dissolved. Then add in 1 cup of vegatable stock w/ 1 qt of orange juice. Place this in a 2 gallon bucket with 2 qts of ice water. When the mixture is all nice and cold place your pork tenderloins in the brine. Brine for 8 hrs.

Grill your tenderloin on the grill for 3 min per side. Baste it with a mixture of orange juice concentrate and hot sauce. That should flip your wig. You can also do the exact same thing with chicken breasts.

[Easto]

***GARLIC CHICKEN***

This one is high in heathly fats. It is so delicious. I am going to go through the recipe first then I am going to talk to you about some special equipment that will be needed in order to perfect this dish.

First off you'll need a whole chicken. To save time you could buy a whole chicken already cut up, but I like to cut it myself. Sometimes I debone the meat, sometimes I don't. Its usually whatever I feel like doing. I like chickens they weigh anywhere from 3-3.5lbs for this, cut up or whole. I just don't like eating chicken wings the size of breasts. I like my chicke pieces to be normal size. The 5 lbers are nasty tasting I think.

You will also need 1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil, or like my chick Ray Ray (Rachel Ray, 30 minute meals host and hottest little chef to ever walk the floor of a kitchen)would say ev double o, plus a tablespoon or two more to brown the chicken. 10 sprigs of fresh thyme, 40 cloves of peeled garlic. Not 35, not 50, 40, trust me.

Salt and pepper your chicken. Brown in some olive oil for 4 minutes or so per side. I like to do this in batches. 1 breast, 1 thich, 1 drum, 1 wing, then remove and do the other four. Now once your chicken is browned put all the pieces in the pan. Pour the 1/2 cup of ev double o in there, throw in the 40 garlic cloves, add in the 10 thyme sprigs. Lid on, into oven at 350 degrees for 1 hr and 30 minutes. When that time is up in front of you will be the most tender succlent chicken you will ever eat, witness, and experience. The garlic cloves will loose there intense flavor and actual become sweet. They will be so soft that they will melt like butter. There good for spreading on toast, or the chicken, or do like I do and eat them whole. If mashed potatoes was to accompany this, I would have no problem with you putting 2 or 3 cloves in the potatoes and mixing it up.

Now for the equipment; this is what I use to cook this dish with:

http://www.homewarehouseusa.com/ind...PROD&ProdID=793

In real life the whole thing is stainless steal, the picture made the bottom look black, lol. This is the best damn pan you'll ever own. If that is to pricey for you then just be sure to use some kind of pan similar to that that is ovenproof. I like it because its stainless steel with a copper core (the best heat conductor) wrapped in the base. Pricey, but dont worry, your grandkids grandchildren will be fighting for them.

[Easto]

***CHICKEN WINGS***

Chicken wing, chicken wing, so finger lickin’ good you make me sing! Wow that was dorky, but the flavor and protein you can get out of these guys aren’t. Mr. Chicken Wing may not be your best friend when dieting but he is nice to ya in the offseason. Constantly knocking back chicken breasts, salmon filets, steaks, pork tenderloins, etc. etc. can get very old. I mean who wants to be constantly planted down at the dinner table? Sometimes I want to sit back in the old recliner with a stack of napkins and just get messy while watching Jessica Simpson turn Nick into her bitch, know what I mean? Well if you don’t know what I mean then keep reading and you’ll soon find out.

Chicken wings are high in fat, yes, and it doesn’t help matters when when you fry them and cover them in a butter based buffalo sauce. This is the way I cook them when I entertain large family crowds and get togethers. I usually fry the wings in peanut oil until very crisp. Then I salt them down with kosher salt. Then I take my pan out and melt 4-6 tbsp of butter, then whisk in ½ cup of more, just eyeball it, of Frank’s hot sauce. Then I put in a splash of vinegar. Toss the wings in the sauce and you have buffalo wings, and no Jessica, they don’t come from buffalo’s honey, they come from chickens, and no not the kind of chickens that swim. There called buffalo wings because they originated in Buffalo, NY.

Now if we followed that recipe everyday I am sure you’ll get as big as a buffalo, so were going to tone it down a little. First we must take out the frying method. Ok, so now what do we do? Simple, we must use cooking methods that don’t require any added fat. So what do we have left, steaming, roasting, broiling, grilling, and boiling. Steamed chicken wings, no, forget about it. Roasting, hmmmm, I think were on to something here. Broiling, yeah, good method, but I am a little worried about how the wings will cook in some areas opposed to others. Grilling, why sure that would be great, but its raining outside today. Boiling, forget about it. So the most convenient method to go with is roasting.

Now we need to look at our sauce. Its built from fat. We are going to have to work on that. When you pull up at a wing joint what is the most popular styles of wings? Mild, hot, super hot, torture, teriyaki, and lemon pepper. That is probably the most common. All of the sauces are loaded in fat except the teriyaki and the lemon pepper. Just for the record, I am not a big lemon pepper fan. So were going with Teriyaki.

I have eaten 75 wings in one siting, so I don’t know how many you guys normally eat, but adjust the recipe accordingly. I feel like most people can eat 2 dozen comfortably, so this recipe will be for 2 dozen wings.

The sauce:
1 cup of low sodium soy sauce
1 cup grapefruit juice
1/4 cup hoisin sauce (this can be found in the asian aisle of you store)
1/4 cup ketchup
3 tbsp of rice wine vinegar (also found in the asian aisle or vinegar aisle)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 fresh red chile, halved
5 cloves of garlic, halved
2 inch piece of fresh ginger, smash it.

Its real simple, just throw everything in the pot together and boil slowly for 20 minutes. Basically just bring it to a boil then lower the heat so its above a simmer. The sauce should thicken up.

Now preheat the oven to 400. Lay your chicken wings in a single layer on a sheet pan and sprinkle them with salt and pepper. Bake them for 25 minutes. The skin should get nice and crisp. Then toss them with the sauce. Put back in the oven and bake for 10 more minutes. Throw them in a bowl and sprinkle them with sesame seeds. Now get your wings, a roll of paper towels, tall glass of water, and some finger nail clippers and go into the living room. Sit in your recliner, watch Jessica Simpson, munch on your wings and drink your water. Isn’t life good?

[Easto]

***HARD COOKED EGGS***

Everybody wants a quick protein fix with convenience. It can be in the form of a shake or a bar or whatever. Which theres nothing wrong with that, but being the cook that I am I like to use my expertise from time to time and take advantage of whole foods. I would have to say that hard cooked eggs are one of the most convenient sources of protein for a bodybuilder. They are good along side a turkey or roast beef sandwich. They go great with tuna or chicken salad. They are good for adding in that little bit of extra protein to your salads. They can be used to snack on in between meals.

So where do you get hard cooked eggs from you might wonder? Or, what’s the difference between a hard cooked egg and a boiled egg? Ok there is no difference in the food itself, only in the way its prepared. Most people put 12 eggs in a pot of cold water and cover it. Then they boil the eggs for 12 minutes. Thats all fine and dandy, but boiling is a violent cooking method. I prefer to cook my eggs in the oven. Just lay out however many you’ll be cooking on a sheet pan and bake on 325 for 30 minutes. When your eggs cool peel them. Baking also gives the eggs a more creamier texture. This method is good for 6 eggs to 2 dozen eggs.

Now what about flavor. Hard cooked eggs do not have much. One good thing to do to hard cooked eggs besides egg salad, is pickling the eggs. Just think you can walk around all day with your jar full of eggs snacking. You will need those 1 qt. jars. You should be able to find some in the grocery store if you look hard enough. This will work for 1 dozen hard cooked, peeled eggs:

2 1/4 cups of cider vinegar
3/4 cup water
1 ½ tbsp dark brown sugar
1 tbsp granulated sugar
1 ½ tsp pickling spice (usually next to the salt in the spice aisle)
1/4 tsp of liquid smoke
1 tbsp salt
3/4 tsp chile flakes

Bring all of this to a simmer in a sauce pan. Once all of the salt and sugar is dissolved it is done. Place your eggs in the qt. jar and pour the mixture over the eggs. Put the lid on and refrigerate. This should stay good in the fridge up to a month.

If pickling isn’t your thing than what about an egg salad. Just simply chop up your dozen hard cooked, peeled eggs and mix them with:

½ cup fat free mayo
½ lemon, squeezed
good dash of celery salt
dash of kosher salt
good dash of white pepper
2 celery stalks finely diced.

Let it chill in the fridge for an hour or so so the flavors can marry. How simple is that?

[Easto]

***GRILLED SALAD***

I am going to come out and say it: Veggies can be a pain in the ass to eat. There, I got it off my chest. You know, I am a salad man. I love salads. But trying to mix a bodybuilding diet and ranch dressing is like trying to make oil and water be friends. The two don't like one another. And who in the hell is going to eat plain lettuce? I like mine a little tasty. So I can't eat the lettuce plain, and I can't put my favorite dressing on it, so what in the hell do I do? Grill it. What grilled food is not good? Heres what we do:

Set up your charcoal or gas grill. Take one head of romaine lettuce. Wash it. Now cut the root at the bottom into quarters. This way the root will hold the lettuce together. Spritz it with some olive oil then salt and pepper it. Kosher salt by the way, always use kosher or sea salt. Put the lettuce on the grill. It won't take long. Take it off the heat as soon as you have grill marks and the lettuce starts to wilt.

Now the dressing:

Now I usually dont measure this. In a bowl start off with a spoonful of dijon mustard, a few capers, and some splashes of red wine vingar. Just mix it up and taste it. Add maybe a drizzle of olive oil to it. Just keep adding and tasting until you think it tastes like it needs to.

[Easto]

***BLACKENED TUNA STEAK***

In order to cook this recipe it is going to require a spice mixture. Lets get that out of the way first. I recommend using a tubberware container or 1pint glass jar w/ lid if you have one. You know the kind uncle Ralph keeps his moonshine it. The measurements I am going to lay out will give you enough spice rub to do this a few times. That way if you like this recipe you can use it over and over again without having to make this rub everytime you do it.

4 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons kosher salt
4 teaspoons onion powder
4 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons cayenne
3 teaspoons white pepper
3 teaspoons black pepper
2 teaspoon thyme
2 teaspoon ginger
2 teaspoon cumin

That is your spice mixture. Keep it fresh by always keeping the lid on tight. Once everthing is placed in the container shake it, shay shay shake it, shake it like paloroid picture.

This spice rub can be used on a fresh tuna steak or salmon filet.

Before we get into the cooking procedures lets talk a little about the blackening. Why is it that blackened fish taste good? What genius came up with the idea to one day burn his fish and eat it. Was it an accident? Well maybe, maybe not. But whatever it was the guy figured something out. The only way to bring out the flavor of the spices above is through high heat cooking. Which means, yes, this powder will turn dark. But this isn't actually burning the fish to death. Its darking the spice rub to activate all of their flavors. This is why blackened fish is so good. Blackened fish does not mean, oh go run off and burn your fish, hahahaaha. No, thats not what it is about.

Heat a cast iron skillet over high heat. That skillet should be smoking before you put that fish in. Your tuna steak should be about an inch or more thick. Rub the seasoning really well into the fish. You just about want the fish covered. Pour just a little bit of canola oil in the hot pan. Just enough to keep the fish from sticking to bad. Now lay your fish in the pan. Your kitchen is about to be engulfed in smoke so, open a window and turn on your exhaust fan. Don't say I didn't warn you. If its not smokin, your pan is not hot enough. After 2 minutes flip and cook 2 minutes more. This should leave your tuna steak nicely colored on the outside and just warm on the inside. Yes it is safe to eat your tuna rare. Don't worry. But for those of you that are scared just flip the steak again and remove the skillet from the heat. Cook one minute more each side. Don't worry there will be enough heat left in the pan to finish the steak off.

Now slice your steak thin and fan it around a mound of fresh salad greens w/ your favorite dressing.

If you don't like the way the tuna looks at your meat market ask the butcher to slice you off some fresh steaks. Or see if he will give you a discount by buying the whole loin. Then have him slice that up for you. Don't be scared that is what he's there for. Remember if tuna is not your thing this works well with salmon to.

[Easto]

***CARROT AND ZUCCHINI GARLIC/ GINGER STIR FRY***

DAMMMNNNNNN!!! Doesn't that title just make you want to break out a skillet right now? This is so good I don't know how I am even typing this out without getting up to eat it. Talk about willpower. Lets get on with it.

Hardware:

Cutting board
Knife
Saute pan

Ingredients:

2 tsp or one drizzle of olive oil
2 or 3 cloves of garlic, minced (finely cut, this increases the flavor of garlic, a whole clove is not as an intense flavor, always remember that)
2 or 3 tsp of minced, FRESH ginger (yes them weird looking roots in the produce aisle)
2 large carrots cut into match stick pieces, they should be about 2 inches
1 large Zucchini, skin on please, cut the same way as the carrot
1 tablespoon of mint, sliced thin
1 tablespoon or good sized dash of rice wine vinegar
Salt, kosher always
Fresh ground black pepper
2 tsps of sesame seeds, toasted in a dry skillet just long enough until you start to smell them.

Heat the Saute pan over medium-medium high heat. When the pan is hot add the oil. Saute the garlic and ginger for 30 seconds. Toss the around. If you don't know how to toss your food just take a pair of tongs and keep them moving. Garlic burns quick. You will not like the taste of burnt garlic. After that add the carrots and toss around for 2 or 3 minutes. They take longer to cook then the zucchini. Add the zucchini and cook for a minute or so. Now add the vinegar and mint. At this point if the carrots or zucchini is a little to firm, cover the pan and let them steam briefly. This should finish them up. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and pour onto your plate. Garnish with your sesame seeds.

Now who wouldn't like that accompanied with a fat steak, chicken breasts, or even some grilled shrimp?

This type of cooking can be tricky if your not used to it. So please practice. It can take some getting used to. I don't want you standing by your stove with a timer saying well he said one minute. No, those times are just examples. You will learn to see when something is ready without time. I just don't want you guys trying this out and it not come out right and then you blame me. I provided a recipe, its your job to get good with the method of cooking. In this case its Sauteing, or Stir Frying. If this does not turn out good the first time play with it. I promise its good. Just like the first time you went to the gym, I am sure you weren't a world champion bench presser. Practice makes perfect.

[Easto]

***GRILLED ASPARAGUS***

Take a few asparagus spears, however many you would normally eat, and trim the woody ends off. Wash them up. Set them aside.

In a bowl whisk together a tablespoon or so of olive oil, 1 clove of finely minced garlic, a zest or two of freshly zested lemon and a dash of paprika. Whisk all that up nice.

Now put your asparagus spears together. Side by side one another and run a skewer through the top of the stalk, the middle of the stalks, and at the bottom of the stalks. Imagine your making a raft for your Barbie and Ken doll to float on. Now set the raft or rafts in the dressing. You can grill them right away or let them marinate for 2hrs. Its up to you. When ready grill the rafts on both sides until done. About a minute per side. Asparagus cooks very quickly on the grill. Salt and pepper each side and chow down.

[Easto]

***FINGER LICKIN' CHICKEN***

Chicken is a staple to any bodybuilding diet. Chicken boobs are loaded with protein. But unfortunately there not loaded with taste. In order to choke the chicken down easier we must apply different methods and techniques to this foul fowl.

Method 1) Grilling:

When grilling we must decipher between the use of gas or charcoal. I will give you a gas and coal examples. Lets start with gas.

Light your grill. Let it heat for 15-20 min. before cooking. While thats heating lets go back inside and prep. the chicken, come on.

Ok lay down the chicken and trim off any of that fatty lookin' crap. Some breasts are fine right out of the package. Some are really ugly and need sculpting. Some breasts are really thick at the top and skinny at the bottom. For those your going to need to pound out with a meat mallet and saran wrap to promote even cooking. I know this step may sound a little odd and funny to you but trust me it does make a difference.

Season with salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. This is how I like to grill my chicken. Fresh off the grill it doesn't need anything. Its tasty like it is. If you wish to marinade it thats fine to. I think the grill is ready though. Lets go back outside and begin the cooking. Hey, don't forget those tongs and that timer.

Take your grill brush and give the grill and good cleaning. Remember a clean grill is a non stick grill. Lay the boobs down on the grate and grill up. I like 5 min per side. The chicken is crusted on the outside and still juicy in the middle. No pink chicken though. The 5-6 min per side rule should cook your chicken just fine. Practice though. You may not get this right the first time. Adjust things and try it your second time around. You'll get the hang of it. Thats what cooking is all about.

At the end if you want you can bast your chicken with your favorite "Q" sauce and let that cook just a min or so until the "Q" sauce gets bubbly. It burns fast due to all the sugars in commercial bbq sauce. Keep a close eye on it.

Charcoal:

Everything is the same as above except the fire. It is highly recommend that you go to Sears and buy a charcoal chimney starter. You simply fill it up then put two pages of wadded up newspaper under it and light. About 15 min later and your coals are ready. Do not do this on your wooden deck though. Concrete is fine, but not the wooden deck. If you do this on a wooden deck you can grill much more than chicken, you can actually grill yourself. I just place mine in the grill and pour them out when ready.

I prefer to buy lump charcoal, not briquettes.

When you use the chimney starter it just about gives you the perfect amount of heat. Its scary sometimes to give people times when charcoal cooking because some fires can be jet engines and some can be going out before even getting started.

Method 2) Broiling:

Your broiler element is located on the roof of your oven. Its basically an indoor upside down grill. That blue looking broiler pan that comes with your oven is your vessle for broiling. If you do not have one of these you can make your own. A sheet pan with a cooling rack in it. That way the juice drips down into the sheet pan. Makes you wonder why in the hell you bought a Foreman Grill now huh.

When broiling make sure the oven rack is positioned in the top notch of the oven. Sometimes if the food is to big it may need to be positioned in the second to top rack, but with chicken here we should be alright in the first one.

Preparation is the same as above with the grilling methods. Times can vary though. Some broilers are very strong. Just try and keep it in that 3-5min per side range. Sometimes I cut the breasts in half and they cook a little faster.

Method 3): Searing/Roasting

This one is a favorite of mine. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Prepare your chicken the same way as above.

Place an ovenproof heavy bottom skillet or cast iron skillet over medium high heat. Sear the chicken about 3 min per side. Just until it starts to get a crust or turn brown. You might need 5 min. I don't know. Just wait until the chicken is brown on both sides.

We are about to put this whole pan in the oven and finish the chicken off. But were going to add more flavor this time.

3 smashed garlic cloves, just smash them open with the side of your knife.

Then this is going to be your choice of fresh herbs. A leaf or two of chopped basil, 2 or 3 sprigs of thyme or rosemary. Or a combination of all three. Whatever you like. Just throw the stuff in the pan and roast in the oven for 10 min or until chicken is ready. The herbs and garlic will infuse the chicken with great flavor. Talk about juicy. Damn this method makes a good breast.

Method 4): Crock pot

This is really simple. Place 4-5 breasts in the bottom of a crockpot, salt, pepper, and just enough water, or chicken broth to cover the breasts. Cook on low 8 hrs.

Remove the breasts, and shred. I like to pour bbq sauce all over it and eat it like an open faced bbq chicken sandwich.

Thats my favorite 4 ways to help me get through some chicken. There is alot more out there.

Post your favorite methods and techniques.