Darkness is a bad moderator

[Darkness]

This thread is about me not you.

But since you brought you up as a subject to for discussion, I havea Suggestion for you: don’t get a beach body. You’ll be sorry if you do. I’m trying frantically to get rid of mine right now but it is having trouble getting fat. I’m tired of it. The cat noises at the airport are starting to bother me. Another thing that bugs me is when hot women lick their lips when talking to me and make odd excuses for touching my arms chest and shoulders. I feel like I’m not being listened to. I’m tired of being looked at as a piece of meat by women, especially the hot entitled ones. Don’t they understand that underneath all this chiseled hardness is a big humble heart with something to share with the world? All they want to do is phuck your brains out then Discard you when you look like this. Like you’re not even entitled to cup of coffee afterwards and asking if they have any cats. Maybe they want to look up your pics on FB so they can brag to their friends about their score.

I’m just not happy looking like this anymore, I want the phucking beach body gone, and have decided to become a phat bastard to be happy.

Have a nice day.

[A1food4u]

I’m surprised you admitted that. You’re still my friend though.

That may be true but I'm not chasing seagulls in the hopes of getting a little skat play... just sayin

[Darkness]

That may be true but I'm not chasing seagulls in the hopes of getting a little skat play... just sayin

I will admit that, after the initial shock of being covered in bird feces in spray form, it did have a certain sexual gratification component to it.

[Friggemall]

I will admit that, after the initial shock of being covered in bird feces in spray form, it did have a certain sexual gratification component to it.

Only you

lol

[Dakota]

You guys are out doing yourselves! Someone is going to give themselves an aneurysm with all this witt being generated.

[mrhtbd]

Darkness, I feel your plight, but to see the stars in women’s eyes, in response to your physique, melt into vestule pools of vaginal secretion, oh, the suffering your tortured soul must endure! I’m with you Brother, but anytime you need to talk, call Rough Rydr, he seems to have a similar effect!

[Roughrydr]

My body is not sculpted around the midsection unless I lie down. Then the effects of my hernia disappear. But then fat girls always look sexier when they are lying down too.

[Darkness]

Secretion is a word I like to use too.

But seriously you don’t need to poke fun at me. This is difficult to live with this affliction. It hurts my feelings to be treated like a steak dinner.

[Glycomann]

My body is not sculpted around the midsection unless I lie down. Then the effects of my hernia disappear. But then fat girls always look sexier when they are lying down too.

Word

[mrhtbd]

While Fall Beach Lifeguarding in Maryland years ago, with few swimmers on my beach, I entertained myself by shelling peanuts and snacking. Didn’t take long for the seagulls to line up for their share. Not sure about giving peanuts to birds I pitched a few to which they eagerly swooped down and caught before circling around for another. They would hover until the gulls behind nudged them out to circle around again. To at least give them some action I started pitching the shells up as well, one Seagull made 3 rotations only to get an empty shell each time. On the forth pass, hovered near me (evidently checking for windage) aimed well and pooped right on my shoulder! It was NO accident! I shooed them away after that but learned my lesson; “no more empty shells of wit, wisdom or food; a hungry soul is not fed by the first two and a hungry belly will just empty itself on you for the third!
I know your pain, Darkness, birds can be pure evil!

[Roughrydr]

ROTFL. Finally I understand something you wrote, I'm not too bright. And it was funny! Props MRHTBD.