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As a young person I worked so hard to gain weight it took me 10 years to gain 15 lbs. Being overtrained and generally unbalanced in life became the mainstay of my existence. Now older and wiser, I have slowed down, attenuating each thing in due course as necessary. The long course is the tortoise, the benefit of not retracing any steps or spinning wheels. I plod on. Since weighing 285 a full 2 weeks in January I decided to make the long climb back to a lean 230, and so it began. Other issues were also impeding my progress; that I lived in a toxic environment for 14 months and had various health issues to reverse. The toxicity caused my skin cancer problems to multiply to not just more outbreaks in the past year than in the previous nine years combined, but from simple keratoses to more dangerous outbreaks like Squamous and Basal cell carcinoma (both of which must be cut out). Just had one cut off my shoulder on Monday and another biopsied 3 weeks ago will be cut off next week. Each leaves a gash up to 3" long. Thankfully, the severe coughing fits of the past 9 months are lessening by the day, as my exposure to sewer gas is reduced. New meds for edema and BP seem to help. My new Female German Doctor actually gets it. I still have to see a specialist about the umbilical hernia, but my bloated gut is reduced as I slowly clear the gas from my abdomen. I am down four beltloops since January and have been around 262 lbs going in 3 weeks now, that's good. My pharmacist suggested a product to help with dehydration which is helpful. As I wrote, the slow road is making progress. Still progressing in my steel fabricating job, learning new machines and processes daily, but most importantly, producing quality products quickly and prepping them for the door, ready to ship. The owner still trying to get me to move closer. I rode the motorcycle 2 days in the rain last week, the 50 mile round trip to work, as my truck needed repairs. They all think I'm nuts. Fixed the truck yesterday. Slowly moving forward, but perhaps now is time to step it up. Today I'll rake the yard and make a plan... as I clear the branches and debris left by Winter, I will clear my mind of self-defeating thoughts and obstacles, leaving piles of yesterday's demise.
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Life is not really a forward path. We progress and then meet set backs. It is the rare person that hadn't found themselves well off the beaten path and thinking "how the hell did I get here?" Each footstep pointed in the proper direction is a win.
My return to the boards and the iron was due to a detour as well. Everyone's life looks better from the outside. We all have demons. Knowing that can sometimes make your own demons less daunting. I have been sober 3 1/2 years.
I have recently been a little disheartened. My Fiancee (whom my son adored) met her soulmate....WTF? I had an old supplier dupe me for $600 and sent me blanks, yesterday I got a seizure letter on another $600 in gear. I sulked yesterday. Today, I realize I am mostly healthy. I have a great kid that is an elite athlete that brings me more joy watching him than when I was an athlete myself. I don't know how many days I have left on this earth but I do know I don't want to waste anymore with self pity, sloth and what ifs. Truly each day IS a gift. The sooner one realizes it the more blessed you are.The older I get the better I used to be. -
Losing gash sucks, a free off, as it may. The son athlete, as my champion swimmer said, "Wouldn't have happened without you!" ( Her Mom barely did the sidestroke.) on a positive note, found some legit proviron, so, let the games begin! My posts may be deep, but they are not without the propensity for freedom of oppression. Stick it to the man!!Comment
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The book, mrhtbd. Waiting patiently.Comment
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This thread reminds of of how I have trouble Cumming when using a condom.Comment
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Mrhtbd was forced to use a condom every time he had sex with his ex wife unless they were trying to get pregnant. The most intercourse Mrhtbd had in any year of his 15 year marriage was eleven times a year. Yes, that's right, eleven times in a year. The least was 4 times. Mrhtbd was a 15 year science experiment. To those who may question whether Mrhtbd is right in the head, I leave it to you, if you were married for 15 years and only had intercourse 4 to 11 times per year and didn't cheat, would you be??? I rest my case!!! For entertainment, I refer to my 5 week triest with She-Rah, "Princess of Power," following filing for divorce. Remember She-Rah? Well, I slept at her house 28 out of 34 days and we often had mad sex up to 4 times a day. Once she referred to me as "a kid in a candy store!" Fact is, the ex-wife was boring with no sex appeal whereas She-Rah was a dynamo. Moral: Mrhtbd responds best to a dynamo. With that, I recluse back into subjugative mode; seething embers and living in the darkness... until ... the resurgence...Comment
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PS: The ex refused to shave!!! And as Paul Harvey wrote, That is the REST of the story!Comment
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There's been few times in my life when I hadn't anything else to say... But this is one of them.Comment
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