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Legend of Big Panties
Lot's been said of a white guy going to the joint or spending a night in jail only to encounter "Bubba". The stories of being easily over-powered by this hulking mule dick black man have ran throughout American prison history for some time now. But I'll bet you've never heard about "Big Panties".... I first heard of him while in a holding facility for 35 days where you get DNA'd , medical check and spend 23/7 in a tiny cell half the size of the standard cell. There is no phone calls and money doesn't transfer from your account to get stamps or paper to write a letter and tell your people you're ok. After 45 days if you're still housed there you get a 5 minute phone call- 2 people to a cell and 2 toilet flushes an hour are all that's permitted- so curtousy flushes are out. There are 3-4 teirs of 50-100 each cells level. It's noisey and sleep is hard and infrequent. You don't know where you're going or what to expect. There are a possibility of 6-7 prisons for you to be assigned your time to and each one has their story. It is in this vulnerable depressive state of existance where you find out about a massive black man named "Big Panties". It's the prison you don't want inspite of the horrors spoken of others having way more fucked living conditions. Big Panties is a man who is 48 years old and 30 of those years has spent in prison. For 30 solid years Big Panties has done nothing but eat big and pump iron(and ass- I'll get to that later)! Standing at 6 foot 6 , weighing in at 450 lbs(est. 14% body fat), Big Panties shattered all prison lifting records. side note: if he was allowed to compete(according to prison lore) would've shattered all records "out in the world". His lifts included: 300lbs bicep curls for reps(he stopped at 20- no idea of max weight). 1500 lb deadlift for 3; 1000lb bench press; 500 lb military; and only 800 lb squat(leg take a hit inside for some reason). Big Panties had to walk sideways through a cell door and then it was tight. The only thing Big Panties liked more than lifting weights and eating was sucking white boys dicks. What's that you say? "He wouldn't suck mine! I'd stab his big black ass." Yeah see...that's the thing; to Big Panties, getting stabbed/hulked was just part of the foreplay! Of the hundred of whiteboys who he'd had, at least 50 of them had stabbed him(or tried). Big Panties would spot the new meat and walk up and put a victim like this: "I gone be suck'n yo dick. Ya be put'n up fight., be knock yo ass out den suckit." Story is he loved the resistance. Made his enormous cock thicken to devistating colon impaling proportions. Though reportedly a firghtening event to behold , it was the least of his victims worries. You see, while Big Panties liked dick like a fat chick likes donuts, he wasn't as big a fan of ass fucking his victims. Maybe he knew it would kill them causing him to be put in the SHO/isolation. Maybe he was told by the CO's they would quit letting him have the run of the place...who knows. But he didn't do it. Nah, his thing was telling you he was gonna suck your dick, you resisting, him knocking you out, then sucks it anyway. The worst thing about it(as if that wasn't bad enough) is Big Panties loved to be fucked in the ass! Story told is that it was the only way he could REALLY get off. So what he (reportedly) would do is knock his victim's ass out, suck his dick till it was hard, then turn his gigantic enormous ass around and plant his ass on the victim's engorged with blood/bonerized cock. If it softened up during the horrid assfucking affair, he would repeat the proceedure as many times as possible(or until they called "rec time" or "chow"). So you have the scenario: Big Panties lays his law down, you stab him with your freshly acquired hulk/shank which cost you a month's commissary, he knock you out and sucks your dick. While unconcious you have the best dream of your life where you and your girl are having hot wild crazy sex ; only to fully come to your senses to the smell of shit and see this 3 foot wide black ass is being pumped by your dick! Going ahead and vomit. Big Panties likes that too. He'll plant his massive lips on yours to prove he loves it. Cell door bangs open "Loke! Pack your shit you're shipping out in the morning." 5 long hours of worry go by then relief-" You're on the bus to Michigan City! Move it convict!!!" MCCF- is bad/rough/mean- but no Big Panties there. Your cellmate who's been telling you the story ain't so lucky. You watch him turn a ghastly shade of white as he's delivered his news: He's going to Pendleton- Home of Big Panties! Ahahahaahh Sorry about your luck pal! 
. What I'm saying is Fuck Bubba! Bubba can't hold a candle to Big Panties!
. What I'm saying is Fuck Bubba! Bubba can't hold a candle to Big Panties!
.............Z
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