The Juicer's SAT
Steroid Aptitude Test
by Cy Willson
How much do you know about steroids? If you're using them or planning on using them, hopefully you know a lot. Sadly, we at T-mag have learned over the years that this is seldom the case. While there are plenty of steroid users out there who know what they're doing and take an educated "safe and sane" approach, there are many more who just don't have a clue. This causes them to experience negative side effects, screw up their health, or simply get no results at all.
In our experience, there are several "levels" of steroid users or wannabe users. Here are a few we've observed:
Level 0: On this level we have the dumbass teenager. This mentally challenged kid may not even hit the gym regularily, but he wants to get "swole" real fast like "that dude in that movie about cops and stuff." His training knowledge is limited to bench pressing and curls in the squat rack and his diet consists of Cheetos and Pepsi. Despite this, he's decided he's ready to juice.
If this kid takes the plunge, chances are he won't even know what kind of steroid he's using or the side effects associated with it. He makes zero effort to learn anything about what he's doing. When asked what steroid he's taking, he may respond with "the pill kind." If using steroids was like being a painter, he'd be the guy who eats paint and sticks brushes up his nose.
Black market dealers love the level zero guy because he'll pay $300 for a pack of Tic-Tacs with the word "steer-oids" scrawled on the container with a magic marker. Intelligent users of anabolics want to choke him to death slowly for giving the rest of them a bad name.
Level 1: This guy does have somewhat of a clue, but he has a long way to go. He probably knows the name of a few different steroids, but still doesn’t know enough to put together an effective and relatively safe cycle.
A level one can often be spotted because he asks about deca-only or oral-only cycles. He's heard of ancillary drugs like Clomid and Tamoxifen but may not know one from the other or how to use them. He's trying, but needs to do a lot more reading before he travels over to the dark side. At least he understands the basics of proper nutrition and smart training, unlike the level zero idiots.
Level 2: This fellow is starting to see the big picture. He's been reading everything he can find and spends a lot of time listening to the veterans on steroid forums. He's beginning to understand that some of these guys know what they're talking about and some don't. (Once a person can begin to differentiate between the smart vets and the blowhard wannabes, he knows he's learning something.)
A level two guy has also begun reading all the steroid info in the previous issues of T-mag. He understands the practical side of steroids and he's now delving into the science behind them. He could probably pull off a successful steroid cycle, but may still be overlooking something that'll get him into trouble.
Level 3: This guy has done his research. He's read every book and article he can find on steroids and the various ancillary drugs. He's also maximized his training and nutrition before he ever touches a steroid. He understands the practical side, the science and probably even the history of steroid use. Although he could probably use steroids the rest of his life (appropriately cycled) without major problems, he continues to learn everything he can.
Level 4: Only a handful of people ever reach level four. These guys usually have advanced degrees related to pharmaceuticals, chemistry, and/or medicine. They're not only formally educated, they've also had years of experience working with steroid users and have experimented with the drugs themselves. Most of the T-mag contributors who write extensively about steroids fall into this category.
What level are you at? To help you find out, we've put together this little SAT or Steroid Aptitude Test. Just answer the questions below, then read the answers and explanations provided at the end.
True or False
1. "Pyramiding" or "tapering" helps ease your body into and out of a steroid cycle.
2. Taking time off helps to clean out your receptors.
3. It takes about three or four weeks for your cycle to "kick in" and for you to start seeing results.
4. Just because a drug is illegal doesn't mean it's always better than a legally obtained supplement.
5. Tren can lead to hair loss but taking finasteride can help.
6. Roid rage is largely a myth.
7. Androgens manufactured for "veterinary use" aren't effective in humans.
8. Using small cycles for short periods of time allows you to retain gains because you're only building a little muscle at a time.
9. Spot injections can't cause much, if any, localized growth.
10. All steroids are anabolic.
11. All steroids are androgenic.
12. Oral steroids are safer than injectables.
13. All steroids aromatize.
14. All steroids reduce to DHT.
15. There's no way to prevent aromatization.
16. Steroids will cause your hair to fall out.
17. Steroids cause cancer.
18. Steroids will cause your prostate to turn into a Swiss Ball.
Short answer
19. Define gynecomastia.
20. Name two drugs that can help prevent gyno.
Extra Credit
21. In what year was the first androgen isolated? What was it and how was this accomplished?
22. What is the content of Testosterone in human testicles? How much do the average testis weigh? On average, how much Testosterone is actually produced in eugonadal adult men per 24-hour period?
23. Why are androgens like Testosterone propionate and trenbolone acetate available in lower concentrations than, say, Testosterone cypionate or nandrolone decanoate?
Steroid Aptitude Test
by Cy Willson
How much do you know about steroids? If you're using them or planning on using them, hopefully you know a lot. Sadly, we at T-mag have learned over the years that this is seldom the case. While there are plenty of steroid users out there who know what they're doing and take an educated "safe and sane" approach, there are many more who just don't have a clue. This causes them to experience negative side effects, screw up their health, or simply get no results at all.
In our experience, there are several "levels" of steroid users or wannabe users. Here are a few we've observed:
Level 0: On this level we have the dumbass teenager. This mentally challenged kid may not even hit the gym regularily, but he wants to get "swole" real fast like "that dude in that movie about cops and stuff." His training knowledge is limited to bench pressing and curls in the squat rack and his diet consists of Cheetos and Pepsi. Despite this, he's decided he's ready to juice.
If this kid takes the plunge, chances are he won't even know what kind of steroid he's using or the side effects associated with it. He makes zero effort to learn anything about what he's doing. When asked what steroid he's taking, he may respond with "the pill kind." If using steroids was like being a painter, he'd be the guy who eats paint and sticks brushes up his nose.
Black market dealers love the level zero guy because he'll pay $300 for a pack of Tic-Tacs with the word "steer-oids" scrawled on the container with a magic marker. Intelligent users of anabolics want to choke him to death slowly for giving the rest of them a bad name.
Level 1: This guy does have somewhat of a clue, but he has a long way to go. He probably knows the name of a few different steroids, but still doesn’t know enough to put together an effective and relatively safe cycle.
A level one can often be spotted because he asks about deca-only or oral-only cycles. He's heard of ancillary drugs like Clomid and Tamoxifen but may not know one from the other or how to use them. He's trying, but needs to do a lot more reading before he travels over to the dark side. At least he understands the basics of proper nutrition and smart training, unlike the level zero idiots.
Level 2: This fellow is starting to see the big picture. He's been reading everything he can find and spends a lot of time listening to the veterans on steroid forums. He's beginning to understand that some of these guys know what they're talking about and some don't. (Once a person can begin to differentiate between the smart vets and the blowhard wannabes, he knows he's learning something.)
A level two guy has also begun reading all the steroid info in the previous issues of T-mag. He understands the practical side of steroids and he's now delving into the science behind them. He could probably pull off a successful steroid cycle, but may still be overlooking something that'll get him into trouble.
Level 3: This guy has done his research. He's read every book and article he can find on steroids and the various ancillary drugs. He's also maximized his training and nutrition before he ever touches a steroid. He understands the practical side, the science and probably even the history of steroid use. Although he could probably use steroids the rest of his life (appropriately cycled) without major problems, he continues to learn everything he can.
Level 4: Only a handful of people ever reach level four. These guys usually have advanced degrees related to pharmaceuticals, chemistry, and/or medicine. They're not only formally educated, they've also had years of experience working with steroid users and have experimented with the drugs themselves. Most of the T-mag contributors who write extensively about steroids fall into this category.
What level are you at? To help you find out, we've put together this little SAT or Steroid Aptitude Test. Just answer the questions below, then read the answers and explanations provided at the end.
True or False
1. "Pyramiding" or "tapering" helps ease your body into and out of a steroid cycle.
2. Taking time off helps to clean out your receptors.
3. It takes about three or four weeks for your cycle to "kick in" and for you to start seeing results.
4. Just because a drug is illegal doesn't mean it's always better than a legally obtained supplement.
5. Tren can lead to hair loss but taking finasteride can help.
6. Roid rage is largely a myth.
7. Androgens manufactured for "veterinary use" aren't effective in humans.
8. Using small cycles for short periods of time allows you to retain gains because you're only building a little muscle at a time.
9. Spot injections can't cause much, if any, localized growth.
10. All steroids are anabolic.
11. All steroids are androgenic.
12. Oral steroids are safer than injectables.
13. All steroids aromatize.
14. All steroids reduce to DHT.
15. There's no way to prevent aromatization.
16. Steroids will cause your hair to fall out.
17. Steroids cause cancer.
18. Steroids will cause your prostate to turn into a Swiss Ball.
Short answer
19. Define gynecomastia.
20. Name two drugs that can help prevent gyno.
Extra Credit
21. In what year was the first androgen isolated? What was it and how was this accomplished?
22. What is the content of Testosterone in human testicles? How much do the average testis weigh? On average, how much Testosterone is actually produced in eugonadal adult men per 24-hour period?
23. Why are androgens like Testosterone propionate and trenbolone acetate available in lower concentrations than, say, Testosterone cypionate or nandrolone decanoate?
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