It was 2 weeks before Christmas(12 years ago). I had thousands of dollars out on fronts. -------------------------------------- Christmas is ALWAYS the time of year when people slow walk you on their weed bill. I suppose they have their family to think about.... possibly. Actually the whole month of December is the start of the holiday fuckings. But in the weed business, fronts/credit is the best way to make the most money. --------------------------------------- One particular client who had owed me a good bit of fucking change conveniently moved to another town. With some leg work and some luck I got an address.--------------------------------- When he answered the door I got a "Hey man what's up!" With a , " Damn I was trying to get a hold of you." -------------------------------------- Rather then display my pissoff. My eyes shot straight for the Big Ass Christmas tree as I proclaimed it's greatness with, "Holeeee fucking shit! Look at that TREE!! " "Damn look at those lights!! They on a remote control or something?" This really got him in the Seasonal mood. -------------------------------------- " Yeah man check it out!" He laughs. " It's got 10 different settings." During his happiness I interrupt and ask him, " Hey you got a whiskey and coke you could fix me?" ----------------------------------------" Sure!" He's in the other room fixing the drink still rambling about the lights when I yell, " Hey you have any big trash bags, I'm totally out?"-------------------------------------- Back he comes with the drink and a box of Hefty trash bags. "How many you need? You can have the whole box if you need em."---------------------------------- Smiling I say, "No, hell I only need 2 or 3! Shit dude wouldn't wanna take all your trash bags! " ---------------------------------------- We're talking about how his mom is, what a bitch his wife is, telling some jokes and laughing when I shake open the bags and start filling the bags up with presents. "Hey man...wtf??" He cries. "Those are my presents to everyone." -------------------------------------- " Yeah I see that." I say with my smile turning to a frown. " And in all those fucking presents not one of them appears to be mine! In fact because of fuckers like you, I haven't bought anybody jack fucking shit! So I'm figuring now I'll just change some names around and my shoppings done! And when I'm done with the presents, I'm taking the lights with that cool ass remote! Then I'm coming back with a truck for the tree!!! Any fucking protest and I'll forget I ever liked you AND you're still gonna pay me motherfucker!!!" -------------------------------------- He looked like someone just ran over his dog. " Please don't take it!!! Come on man... it's Christmas dude." --------------------------------------- "Yeah it's Christmas now. One man's loss is another man's gain! First I don't hear shit from you. Then I gotta track you down like a mad dog. Then I see though you don't pay me, you ain't skimping one damn bit!" --------------------------------------- At this point all the presents are bagged up and I'm starting on the lights. He just walks out of the room. A third of the way from the lights being off he returns with a good chunk of change, " Here," he says. " I was gonna pay you after Christmas." -------------------------------------- I count out what amounts to little over half the balance owed when the smell of the contents cooking in the oven finally over take my senses, " Is that roast fucking beef I been smelling? Cause if it is, that would just be perfect!" ---------------------------------------- That's where I stop. "Alright asshole! You can keep the fucking lights and tree." I slam the drink and tell him, " But the fucking presents are mine!" I drag em out and leave. --------------------------------------- There was a long enough walk to the car where I started thinking and feeling bad. The kind of bad feeling that only the holiday season can inflict. Damn it!!! I turn back around and walk all the way back. KNOCK KNOCK RING RING. He slowly opens the door... " I forgot the damned roast beef!!!!"
A Christmas story
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