- Joined
- Sep 11, 2004
- Messages
- 5,769
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
>talking........and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is
>farther away..........Florida or the moon?
> "The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
>Florida.......?????
>
>
> CAR TROUBLE
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
>mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
>smoothly.
>
> She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
>carburetor"
>
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
>nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
>would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
>then today you expect me to show it to you!"
>
>
> RIVER WALK
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
>sees another blonde on the opposite bank "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
>get to the other side?"
>
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
>shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
>
> KNITTING
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
>freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
>behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
>flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
>his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
>
> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
>Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
>
> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>
> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
>sun!"
>
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
>their heads.
>
> "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
>the
>Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
>going at night!"
>
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
>turn.
>She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
>"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
>
> She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
>new
>dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
>that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever
>heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
>
> "Hellooooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
>talking........and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is
>farther away..........Florida or the moon?
> "The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
>Florida.......?????
>
>
> CAR TROUBLE
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
>mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
>smoothly.
>
> She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
>carburetor"
>
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
>nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
>would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
>then today you expect me to show it to you!"
>
>
> RIVER WALK
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
>sees another blonde on the opposite bank "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
>get to the other side?"
>
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
>shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
>
> KNITTING
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
>freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
>behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
>flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
>his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
>
> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
>Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
>
> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>
> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
>sun!"
>
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
>their heads.
>
> "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
>the
>Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
>going at night!"
>
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
>turn.
>She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
>"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
>
> She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
>new
>dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
>that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever
>heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
>
> "Hellooooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
